I never knew a chicken could have so much personality! Watching our 3 chickens outside my window at breakfast brings a surprising amount of joy. This has been a terrific addition to the family in so many ways. Dylan is learning how to care for them and I’m learning to acknowledge his contributions without the tempting corrections that will surely discourage future attempts. I purposely ignore the negative chatter in my own head that pops up, that can build into fear, then reveal itself as frustration and disappointment. Instead I try focus on what is going well, and know this is not the last time, and then I picture him doing his chores in his own way, well and independently. That keeps me busy enough that nothing “well intended” leaks out to spoil the efforts. He usually needs a little reminding, so I stick with saying something like “you have already done “this” and “that”, now all you need to do is….Sometimes “this” and “that” may be as simple as “you have already gotten up and made your breakfast, now you just need to do your chores”. Currently he feeds the animals, 2 Guinea Pigs and 3 chickens from school, 4 fish 1 Tibetan Terrier mix and a speckled grey cat…how did that happen? He picks up the floor in his room and brings down his laundry, empties the recycling and takes out the trash. For this he earns TV time. These simple shifts in the way I communicate with him have gone miles toward a positive response and less power struggles. With The Nurtured Heart Approach, I am finding more and more opportunities to acknowledge the many efforts he makes in life, even if they are just a micro moments. It feels so much better to turn these genuine moments of positive action, no matter how small, into “teachable moments”. It’s like composting, give a little goodness and nourish the soul. Nothing good is wasted! It’s been worth seeing him beam with pride, like my flowers look when the soil is rich. Then again, don’t look at my flowers lately, no rich soil going on there….perhaps I should say like my flowers would look, if I would nourish the soil…well, forgive me, I’m still learning.
A friend of mine posted this. These are some very happy faces. Joy is unmistakeable, it can happen in any circumstance and it’s power immeasurable.
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
George William Curtis